After nearly two years, I’ve decided to get back into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I’ve been battling ruminating thoughts in my brain for a long time and finally had enough of it. The theme for the day is to attack first and always be on the offensive. Even if I get my ass kicked, at least I tried to do something on the aggressive side. I’m naturally a defensive person. I generally like to react to my environment instead of creating it.

Being more aggressive in daily life could probably benefit me as well. I tend to let things develop around me until the pressure under the cap explodes and I overreact. That’s not helpful for anyone. I relate to Adam Sandler’s character, Dave Buznik, in Anger Management. He’s nice on the outside, but the anger grows steadily inside him until he implodes. I don’t want to be like that.

I broke my lower left rib shortly after stopping Jiu Jitsu back in February, 2017 when I was drunk-wrestling with my friend at a house party. It never healed correctly and now it pokes into my ab muscle. It’s not comfortable to lie down on my stomach, even on a soft mattress. It’s an injury I notice pretty much at all times, even at work, sitting in my chair. It’s something I have to deal with in Jiu Jitsu. It’s a real pain in the ass in yoga too, so it’s just going to suck no matter what physical activity I’m doing.

Without playing baseball every weekend, I feel lost. This sport is helping me get back in shape and build up my confidence again. Today, this purple belt guy was beating the shit out of me. I felt like he was going to break my jaw at a certain point. He head butted my cheek at one point and I cracked him in the face with my knee during a scramble. That’s what happens when you fight a white belt (me).

I figure if I get my ass kicked enough times, eventually I’ll be good. In this sport, that means a whole lifetime of training. I will never be the best. It’s not about being the best. It’s about discipline and growth. Nothing is easy in this sport.

The long journey to Blue begins again!

Photo credit: https://www.instagram.com/p/BlZepqAlRHM/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

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