After nearly two years, I’ve decided to get back into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I’ve been battling ruminating thoughts in my brain for a long time and finally had enough of it. The theme for the day is to attack first and always be on the offensive. Even if I get my ass kicked, at least I tried to do something on the aggressive side. I’m naturally a defensive person. I generally like to react to my environment instead of creating it.
Being more aggressive in daily life could probably benefit me as well. I tend to let things develop around me until the pressure under the cap explodes and I overreact. That’s not helpful for anyone. I relate to Adam Sandler’s character, Dave Buznik, in Anger Management. He’s nice on the outside, but the anger grows steadily inside him until he implodes. I don’t want to be like that.
I broke my lower left rib shortly after stopping Jiu Jitsu back in February, 2017 when I was drunk-wrestling with my friend at a house party. It never healed correctly and now it pokes into my ab muscle. It’s not comfortable to lie down on my stomach, even on a soft mattress. It’s an injury I notice pretty much at all times, even at work, sitting in my chair. It’s something I have to deal with in Jiu Jitsu. It’s a real pain in the ass in yoga too, so it’s just going to suck no matter what physical activity I’m doing.
Without playing baseball every weekend, I feel lost. This sport is helping me get back in shape and build up my confidence again. Today, this purple belt guy was beating the shit out of me. I felt like he was going to break my jaw at a certain point. He head butted my cheek at one point and I cracked him in the face with my knee during a scramble. That’s what happens when you fight a white belt (me).
I figure if I get my ass kicked enough times, eventually I’ll be good. In this sport, that means a whole lifetime of training. I will never be the best. It’s not about being the best. It’s about discipline and growth. Nothing is easy in this sport.
The long journey to Blue begins again!